From May through November of 2013, I apprenticed at a farm and goat dairy in Pennsylvania. I signed up to learn about cheese making and farming. Then my mom died and it became a great chance to escape my life. The agreement was 6 days of work each week in exchange for learning, food, shelter, and a stipend of $125 a week. I left Manhattan on May 17th and returned on Dec 1st. These are my farm impressions.
I’m out on the porch with a beer after work. The ankles of my pants are wet and my socks, soaked with the water and bleach we constantly spray and scrub, and squeegee from the floor and every other surface of the cheese room. All day long. After the cheese room it was back out to lift hay and carry buckets and wrestle with the goats. My back and arms are aching pleasantly, glad to have been put to good use. I feel spent and content. Too tired to be anxious about money or my uncertain future. I’ve been accomplishing too much each day to feel like a loser for running my hard-earned former career into the ground.
The chair on the porch is without a cushion. The hard wood feels good on my back. This beer feels well deserved. I want to call someone I know and tell them how ecstatic I am.
It’s dark. Jeepers creepers, peepers, peepers. They remind me how long I’ve been in the city. Insulated from the sounds and scents of the seasons. In New York City there are only two: Hot as Fuck and Icy Wet Wind In Your Face. Some trees don’t even ever seem to lose their leaves. In the city it is not the trees that herald spring, it is the women. They shed their bulky coats for smooth skin. And their bare arms and necks and backs and legs seem as new as the new leaves erupting from everywhere here on the farm.
Fresh green sprouting from the dead-looking grey skeleton fingers of the trees. A gentle grass of the lightest, brand-new green, a plant I don’t ever remember seeing, has been slowly filling the ground between the tree trunks along my way to the barn. Thicker and thicker each day. Painted in with the daily downpours. The rain comes from nowhere. Almost tropical the way the storms roll in around here, with everything they’ve got, then they retreat just as rapidly.
While the sun is up, the birds are screaming for sex. At night it’s the peepers. Everywhere. And the magic seduction of the whippoorwill. I’ve never heard one before. It turns the woods into a haunted folk tale no matter what. Later on when the owl gets going, forget it.
Underneath it all, twenty-four hours a day: The bugs. Night bugs. Day bugs. Afternoon bugs. “Hmmmmbzzzmmmmmbzzzzmmmm…” All singing and playing their little wings and legs out for love.
And as if all that weren’t enough to make me feel alive and fit to do a jump kick out and over the porch railing, the universe adds fireflies to the mix.
“Fuck singing, look what I got!” They seem to say. Light-up asses in the grasses. But that’s not all, they’re flashing in the trees too and everywhere in between. Is this how they were when I was a kid growing up in the Catskills? Did they saturating the fields like that? Did they always go so high and dense in the trees, lighting them up with flashes like a forest of Christmas trees? I feel like I would remember that and I don’t.
A few years ago, A. and I took my motorcycle with a tent and a sleeping pad rolled up on the back and rode out to camp in the truly great, but smothered in fat people, Smokey Mountains National Park. Once a year fireflies gather there and synchronize. They flash together and then go dark. They light up and move around in apparent choreography. I am told it only happens in one other location in the world. Each year, at the same time, lightning bugs gather in China and do the same thing. Incredible. But, it didn’t affect me like this scene out here in the fields and forest.
There are cases of empty mason jars in the pantry of the old farmhouse. I think of collecting some fireflies. Then I think, “Would I want to be put in a jar to slowly suffocate or starve?”
I slaughtered enough fireflies in my childhood. Besides, my lazy adult body prefers a porch and a beer and to simply sit and observe. Sometimes I venture out into the field barefoot and stand still for them to gather round again.
The estimated current farm animal inventory is as follows:
Ms. Piggy and Notorious P.I.G.
68 goats being milked
~10 “teenagers”; goats that haven’t been impregnated yet.
34 kid goats
3 bucks
2 geese
~50 chickens
2 roosters
2 cows
2 Pigs [Ms. Piggy and Notorious P.I.G]
~12 piglets
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This has been my schedule for the first two weeks:
Sunday is both the ending and beginning of the week. On Sunday, the fresh cheese, also known as the Chevre, is made. The final market of the week happens on Sunday as well. Of course, milking must be done every day, twice a day, along with the chores – feeding, watering and otherwise caring for all the animals on the farm. Plus the wood burning water heater for cheese production must be kept full of logs and burning at all times. I’m too new to make chevre by myself so Sundays are mostly just chores in the morning and chores at night. Maybe brush the mold off of some wheels in the cave during the afternoon.
Monday is my day off.
Tuesday and Wednesday: Chores and milking 5:30am to 9:30am; Breakfast 9:30 to 10; Cheese room [one or two cheese makes a day, affinage, bottling milk and yogurt, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning] 10am to 4pm; Chores and milking 4pm to 7:30pm.
Warning sticker on the bottling machine.
Thursday and Friday we prep everything for the Saturday and Sunday markets while also making cheese. Due to the work load, I am excused from afternoon milking and chores on these days to remain in the cheese room. LP is not good at taking breaks and I’m giving it my all so I don’t ask for any. After morning chores on Thursday and Friday I go into the cheese room and don’t come out until after dark. Now I appreciate why the cheese at the farmer’s markets is always so expensive. Both nights we are in the packaging room until after eight. Something like 230 buttons of fresh Chevre wrapped in carefully folded cellophane. A half-dozen wheels of aged cheese cut into dozens of wedges and wrapped in brown paper. Each piece placed on the scale and a price scrawled onto the label with a sharpy. Ninety pints of drinkable yogurt and a few dozen half-gallons of raw goat milk bottled and labeled.
cranberry chevre on cellophane squares about to be wrapped
Things happen at a frantic pace. LP seems scatter brained. This is his first gig as solo cheesemaker. I don’t think I like cheese enough for him. He’s accustomed to being surrounded with other passionate cheese people. It’s difficult to really learn what’s going on. I’m just running to keep up, there’s always something more to be done and it needs to get done that day. No time for explanations. Just do this and do that. LP rarely stops talking. I think sometimes he simply vocalizes his thoughts. It’s difficult to discern which items will end up relevant to the cheese making process. It’s exhausting listening to him and trying to tell. And he’s so negative. Constantly describing how things could be better. How he would have built the cheese room, the cave, the entire farm. Complaining to me, the apprentice, about his troubles with the farmer and his wife.
I spent six weeks on a sheep dairy in Australia and the cheese making process was nowhere near as stressful. The cheese maker there was a jovial woman who blasted pop hits on the radio as she sang, flitting about the room, stirring and adding cultures and recording temperatures.
In contrast, LP is a hurricane. A disorganized and frantic funnel cloud swirling through. He spends hours a day going back to the house to grab things he’s forgotten. He is ever attempting to locate misplaced items.
And I have to live with him.
I’m already beginning to dread the cheese room because of him. I just want to get things done to get out of there. This guy has a lot to teach me, I just don’t know if he can get it together enough to be coherent. We’ll see. I will attempt more details on the cheese making process in later impressions.
Saturday is the big market day with busy farmer’s markets in Philadelphia and Easton. I do chores in the morning and evening with SJ. During the middle of the day I nap and take the goats for walks.
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I left the goats unsupervised in the yard and returned to find they had opened the bottom of the grain silo. Hundreds of dollars of the farmer’s money pouring into their greedy mouths and piling up on the ground. I hadn’t had a day off in 9. And they were long hard days. I almost broke. I ran for the silo with all I had left.
The gang of piglets was quicker and arrived on the scene before me. Snorting and gobbling and squealing, waggling their little coil tails in ecstasy.
I ran into the crowd kicking and throwing elbows and checking with my shoulders. The animals couldn’t have cared less. Free food falling from the sky trumps all. Now the chickens and even the geese had been seduced.
SJ showed up and lit a cigarette while he watched me struggle to get the sliding door closed to stop the hemorrhage of valuable grain.
“Oh man,” Says SJ, “You fucked up Aaron. HJ’s gonna be pissed!”
I was exhausted and defeated. I was either going to throw a punch or start crying. Probably both. SJ must have noticed. He put the cigarette between his lips and whipped one of his famous fatties out from behind his left ear.
“Hahahahahah! Come on man, I’m fucking with you. The animals will eat it anyway. Not like it’s going to go to waste. Hahahahahaha!”
Then he lit the fatty and we smoked behind the greenhouse. Sixty-eight goats to milk and then done for the day.